I just reread (actually, more like reskimmed) Prince Caspian, and it’s even worse than I remembered. Granted, some bits that annoyed me – like the whole “Yes, it was Trumpkin who was telling this tale kids, don’t you remember?” recap – didn’t register as a kid, so I can’t bash that as much as I want to, but… ugh, it’s so dull and awful. Throwing away the imaginative Narnia and replacing it with a medieval system that has them as legends sounds interesting, but of course in practice ends up, for most of the book, being just a wicked ruler vs. righteous prince story with destinies and legends. The fact that it’s Narnia is its only saving grace; had this been the beginning book of the Narnia series, in the same way that Eragon is the first of its series, it would have stunk horribly.

Yup, the movie was better.

(Without meaning to completely knock the imagination of CS Lewis, mind)

Oh, and Aslan’s such a prick for no reason – though ironically he’s worse in the film, from what we see; he’s happy to watch loads of people die, apparently, before bothering to turn up and stop it. Arsehole. I know he’s testing their faith, but surely there’s things more important than glorified pride?

And yet, because of Liam’s whole “Aslan hates fags” thing (yeah, I’m not going to explain right now), I couldn’t help but giggle like a (ironically) schoolboy at these bits:

“It gives me a queer feeling,” said Lucy.
“Does it, Lu?” said Peter, turning and looking hard at her. “Because it does the same to me. It is the queerest thing that has happened this queer day.”

“Well, I’m – I’m jiggered,” said Peter, and his voice also sounded queer. Then he handed it to the others.

Also, I’m slowly falling in love with Mogwai (hmm, does that make me the “fag” then? I did have “poof” yelled out to me from a car again just the other day). I suspect this is because they’re capable of really beautiful music… without doing anything complex. The guitar riffs are easy-peasy compared to some. And yet listen to how amazing they are.

Oh, and I listened to ‘The Condemned’, a Big Finish tale that’s… gotten me back into Big Finish. Bugger. I wasn’t expecting much of it, other than a slightly interesting 6th Doctor/Charley dynamic (which ironically was barely in it… good, really!), but it intrigued and fascinated me, ‘Chimes of Midnight’ or no ‘Chimes of Midnight’. Bugger, bugger, bugger. It also had an anti-downloading message at the end by India Fisher and Colin Baker, which further complicates my position; I’m now interested in them again, but they have forbade me (not personally, to be fair) to download their stuff. What am I to do?

(That’s a rhetorical question. I don’t want you saying anything like “Um, buy them?” in a patronising voice now. That’d make you look like a fool rather than me. Mwahaha)

Mind you, though I liked ‘The Zygon Who Fell to Earth’ – and in fact, basically the others too – none of the 8th Doctor/Lucie ones have grabbed me yet. I’m starting to think that I’m not really the target audience for them anymore, considering what they’re aiming to do, and I’d be best paying far more attention to the previous Doctors. Which is a shame, because I was always really into McGann’s Doctor (well, the Eighth is still the best… but then, I would say that) and his capacity to still go on ad infinitum in a variety of interesting directions – no, the New Series doesn’t stop anything; the Time War solves everything – was always far more interesting to me than the more stuck-between-stories nature of the other Doctors. Ah well.

‘Journey’s End’ tomorrow. Oh, bugger. I just know I’m going to trash it. And probably get called up for it again. How predictable the world seems now.

(Except for Big Finish, in a way)

Maybe it’s the season, but I’m completely in predictable mode at the moment, based on the following…

Diet: McDonalds, McDonalds, McDonalds, proper food, proper food, McDonalds. Maybe I should mix the two and see what happens.

Music: Mogwai. A bit of Radiohead and Rammstein. And I’ve got shiteloads of albums on this hard drive, too.

8th Doctor/Lucie: Romp. Romp. Witty comeback from Lucie. McGann half-unconscious. Absolutely irritating and shite theme tune. Romp. Fun. Boredom. Sheridan doing other voices. Romp. Nice detail. Romp. Bugger.

New Series finale: Rose. “Emotion”. “Epic”. Arc. Prophecy. Doom-laden. Fanwank. Returning characters. Daleks. Tennant babbling. Boredom. No, think of the kids! It’s for the kids. Still. Boredom. Crud. Shite. Bugger.

Liam: Lynch. Lynch. David Lynch. Lynch.

Prince Caspian: Oh! Queer. ROAR. Sword fights. Great ending line (no, honest). Medieval. Queer. King. Queen. Queer. ROAR. Sword fights. Bugger.

…no, I refuse to do a joke about the fact that I’m doing a repetitive joke. I refuse.

Bugger.

Actually to be fair, Liam didn’t mention Lynch even once today. Hooray!

(Note for those who don’t know us: of course Lynch is brilliant. I just got tired of hearing about him, that’s all)

Oh, Russell T Davies said he won’t write for Moffat’s series. Which makes me really quite sad; I’d have loved to have seen him devote all of his energy into a single two-parter, or at least one story a season. They’d have been absolutely fantastic. It’s amazing enough that he can write ‘Tooth and Claw’ and ‘Love & Monsters’ in Season Two, especially considering I don’t like Season Two, including – especially – ‘Doomsday’.

You know though, this is quite a fun game. I’m going to do it for a few things, mostly for those who are reading (have at you!).

Jack Bz: Read blog. Write blog. Love blog. Sprinkles the Naughty Caterpillar. Read blog. Write blog. Alien Potato. See the Forums, Ugmo. Does want to someone. Read blog. Write blog. HEY DOM!

Michael Sandford: Comics. Horse porn. Redheads. Mums. Disabled. Dribble. Retarded. YOUR MUM. And other peoples’ too.

Tom Bown: Mute. Neutral Milk Hotel. Weezer. Mute. Doctor Who. Orange text. Mute. FUCKING CLICK IT. Fun Facts. Mute.

Dash: An Hero. Coco. Humanity Is Overrated. Sof. An Hero. Humanity Is Overrated. Coco Is Underrated. Write blog. Hates comments. Hates Humanity. Humanity Is Overrated. Lucky he’s got HER SHOTGUN.

Jack Deakin: That’s A Funniest Idea! Hey Guys. Calling people by their full name all the time. Police Heroes. NO!! Hates Sammy Deakin. Kate Ashby. NO!! I WON’T BE DOING THAT! Yes. NO!!

Tds4a Today: Whinge. Doctor Who. Far too many words. Crude humour. Personal. Dull. Does want to someone. Sports. Bugger.

My Life as of This Minute: Wake up late. Pat dog. Shower. Breakfast. Pat dog. Type. Doctor Who. Ugmo. Doctor Who. Liam. Fancy girl. Mogwai. McDonalds. Bugger. Doctor Who. Ugmo MSN convo. Home. Pat dog. Dinner. Pat dog. Type. Mogwai. Clean teeth. Pat dog. Brb toilet. Pat dog. Sleep. New day, wake up late. Pat dog. Shower. Breakfast. Pat dog. Go to friend’s house. Ugmo. Movies. Doctor Who. Liam. McDonalds. Home. Pat dog. Type. Ooh, lesbians. Fancy completely different girl. Nostalgia. Mogwai. Clean teeth. Pat dog. Sleep. Bugger.

This Game: Fun. Depressing. Both. Fuck it. Hooray! Bugger. Repetitive Gag. Oh hell, I said I wouldn’t. Bugger.

NEXT DAY:

…I could do another “Minutes” thing for ‘Journey’s End’, but what’s the use? Barring a couple of effective things (some of Davros’ lines, and the fate of Donna) everything, everything, was either predictable, rubbish, or plain insulting. It managed, in its own way, to be worse than ‘Doomsday’.

Even the mini-trailer for this year’s Christmas special, which has Cybermen in Victorian England, was hampered by the irritating epic blocky text that shouted “THE RETURN OF THE CYBERMEN” at us. Jesus, if this becomes a mainstay of the Moffat era, I’ll be spitting blood.